Doing it Wrong with Fake Anne Murray

If you’re like me, after pretending that passing the age of 35 without ever having to wear a tie professionally is some sort of laudable accomplishment, you wonder what’s going on in the career of Canadian chanteuse Anne Murray^*.

This lady is not Anne Murray. She only looks a little like Anne Murray — if Anne Murray gave up her Grammy-winning singing career to spend a lot of time down by the docks in comfortable shoes talking about debt execution…ing? That’s a word, right?

Anyway, here’s today’s Doing it Wrong video:

Now, why this Fake Anne Murray (aka Sara Goodman) is sitting down by the dock to talk to us about debt and debt collection using finger quotes is unclear. People not in debt automatically own boats? Being by the docks is part of the good life? She cryptically tells us that it’s “almost five o’clock!” which may be some sort of happy hour call-to-action, or she may be trying to suggest that five o’clock is quitting time for debt or–

I got nothing.

What Sara’s got, though, is a site — debtexecutioner.com — where people in debt can get in a little more debt (…what?) by spending anywhere from $94.95 to $194.95 for sample scripts and “secret negotiation techniques.”

And then? It’s Under the Pier Time every day with Sara and her cameraman and her finger quotes as you wait for five o’clock and soak up the good life. By the docks. At dusk.

Oh, and speaking of executioners, here’s a YouTube clip of Patti Lupone and George Hearn singing “Try the Priest” from Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd.

You’re welcome.

^* In the fifth grade, I auditioned for a singing role in a school musical by singing Anne Murray’s bittersweet classic, “Time Won’t Heal a Broken Hearted Me.” I did this not realizing that (a) I wouldn’t have a microphone, and that I had forgotten my mom’s hairbrush at home; (b) there was no backing band or follow-spot; and (c) that I didn’t really sound like Anne Murray at all.

This has been Getting to Know Your Writer! with Mike Bevel.